Have you heard that new song by 3oh!3 called "Don't Trust Me"? It has a line in it about Helen Keller that goes "Shush girl, shut your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips" Usually I'm not such a tight ass about being politically correct, but "Damn!" I thought, "leave Helen Keller alone. The poor woman went through enough in her life that she shouldn't be subjected to some lame superficial pop song and be cashed in on like a set of spinning rims or a grill." Then something happened.
In the midst of all my judgmental smiting, a lonely thought danced across my mind and I was, quite abruptly, flung from my dignified humanitarian pedestal. I fervently texted Richard with said lonely-dancing-thought "Do you think Helen Keller ever got any tail? 'Cause if she did I bet it was awesome! With no sight or sound the sense of touch must be incredibly heightened!"
And then Satan opened the gates of Hell, poked his pointy horns out for a moment and gave me a thumbs up.