Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Forgot My Cape In My Other Jeans

Richard and I are standing in the driveway attempting to re-attach his tailgate when a slender silver station wagon pulls up on the other side of the street and a frantic Chinese delivery driver from Ming's gets out and starts waving a receipt around. In broken English he gets the point across that he's lost and can't find the house he's looking for. Richard, the ever-helpful guy that he is, calls the customer's house on his cell and asks him to verify the address. It was one digit off; I Google map it and discover it's straight up the street, within plain view of our own house. With lots of pointing and smiling we tell the driver to head straight up the street, make sure you don't turn on the curve, the house should be right there. About five minutes later, Rich calls the customer's house once again in hopes of getting a successful report of delivery and, hopefully, a solid review on a good Chinese food place in the neighborhood.
Lo and behold, the poor fellow simply couldn't understand what we were saying and likely did turn on the curve.
From the moment the Chinaman steps out and begins his broken attempts at communication, my eyes half-glaze over; I am fantasizing about knowing Chinese and directing him steadfast to his desired destination. In my fantasy, he is very impressed and we chat for awhile about my miraculous abilities. I wave him goodbye and the food is delivered, fresh and hot, to waiting hungry customer.
I often have these moments where I wish I had some insane out-of-thin-air skill just at the right time. Often times I will glaze over in situations such as this and just fantasize about how awesome it would be to have a super ability in a time of need or great desire. (Singing, instrument playing, language, dance, art, etc.)
If I were a super hero and I got to choose my skill, this would TOTALLY be it! I don't care about invisibility, flight, gills or any of that crap! Just hit me with some spur of the moment abilities when the time is right. If you could put in a good word for me at the Super Hero Academy, that'd be great. Thankssomuch.


  1. It's amusing how much we have in common

  2. Hum yes, have you ever watched the TV show The Pretender? i believe its right up your Super Hero Alley... if you have all i need say is simply this "I am today"