Tuesday, August 25, 2009

First Impressions

Tonight classes started for me. I must say, I'm very zombie-esque after a full day, from 8AM-9:30PM, of sitting on my ass. Most of this time was spent in front of a computer screen. Would it be super nerdy to admit I really missed reading my book, Drums of Autumn, this evening? I'd rather be doing that than most things right at the moment. I'm hooked; 4th book in the Outlander series.
Anyway, about school...
The first class is ENG102. This promises to be very lame after going in tonight; it's going to be all about writing research papers. Ugh. I was really hoping to be able to read some good novels and have character/plot discussions and write papers on my opinion. Damn facts! And Works Cited pages! The teacher also seems very grumpy and speaks as though we're a high school class rather than college; plenty of time was devoted to lecturing about being on time and not missing classes. Blah blah blah. Hellish, indeed.
The second (and last) class of the night is SOC101. It is only one day a week so it's extra long. I really liked the instructor--you can tell when they actually care about the subject they're teaching--and the content sounds interesting. I didn't have much to add as far as participation tonight because I was feeling pretty spent. Haven't been sleeping well. Keep dreaming that I'm reading and then half waking. This might be a sign that I should stop reading for several hours at a time. But really, I've always had these sorts of dreams; dreams where things are incomplete and I just keep pushing on under impossible circumstances. Usually happens when I'm doing night classes (they're baaaack) or when I have two jobs and I'm working over 60 hours a week. Thankfully haven't had to do that in about two years. Ok, so I'm rambling. Must retire for the evening. Adeu!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Damn Alligator Bit My Hand Off!

This evening, for the first time ever, I went to a driving range and hit golf balls. Richard's friend invited us out to give it a whirl. This was a surprisingly great time considering I always had the notion that only very old rich men wearing funny looking pants and hats went to the driving range. These men always have very nasally sounding voices in my notions.
The first joyous spectacle of the evening took place when we decided to purchase a small basket of golf balls from a machine in front of the pro shop. Little did we know the basket must be under the golf-ball-dispenser-thingy immediately after hitting the button or golf balls will scatter every which way.
Oh. How. They. Scattered.
To add to the chaos the place was having some sort of Hawaiian luau theme, so there are balls tittering around the ground, pouring out this hole in the machine, and women garbed in grass skirts and tropical tops carrying various Hawaiian instruments. The basket was hastily applied once the initial jaw dropping moment fizzled.
It was on to the range! Here must give myself a pat on the back for not slamming the club into the ground with an arm reverberating swing and actually hitting the ball within the limits (mostly) of where it needed to go. Once we hit a couple baskets worth, we headed to the putting area.
Much wind whipped hair and many missed putts later, I felt a big fat raindrop fall on my head. Then another. Then a whole lot more. Within the time we threw the putting balls into the bag of clubs we were quite damp. We made a mad dash to the parking lot (of course Rich parked in the very back) and were completely soaked through by the time we were in the truck. Holy mother I love when it rains. The cherry on top of a very enjoyable evening. There was the monsoon weather we were waiting for; it was just saving up for a big show.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Pictures Of You

I remember you, sitting there cross legged on the balcony. Shorts were too short, your ass was hanging out, but you never cared. Natural Ice in one hand, loose bun knotted at the crown of your head, thin chocolate brown with streaks of grey. You are getting old. I was inside, looking out. Your cheeks were round and fat like a baby, smiling at me and toothless, pinky out, lifting the beer to your thin dry lips. You looked happy, but I could see through. Smile slanted sparkly blue eyes, but glossed over and giggling with that warm feeling of apartness from your body; the feeling you chased with tunnel vision, obstructing all else.
I remember you there and was thinking maybe I couldn't blame you. Maybe you were turning backward, back into a child and I had to scold you and say something cutting so you'd feel ashamed. You took it like a man, ma. Didn't say a word back to me, and in turn I felt ashamed.
Then cheated. Thought about all those things we'd missed because of that little blue can in your hand and lack of accountability. You've always had someone to bail you out. "The Lord will provide" you said when we were losing our house and dad loaded us up and took us away to something better. "The Lord will provide" you said when you finally came back after years and then ran out of resources and people to sponge off of and then turned tail and ran back under the rock you came from. Well it's not "the Lord" providing. It's people who care about you and remember who you were once and see a little shimmer of that in you still. It's those people that are providing, and you're leaching.
But when I think of you with your rosy cheeks and your toothless face-splitting grin, I want to cradle you up and tell you all about who you can be when you grow up, the places you can go, adventures to be had, love to be found and lost and found again; what your kids might be like, how they'll admire you and say the things you say and want to be just like you. How you can be whatever you want to be when you get big. But I'm too late for all that. So now I'll just say you should know we loved you once, and you're missing out.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Fall 2009 Semester

I signed up for two night classes for the coming Fall semester. I already had 15 credits towards my Associate Arts degree (how'd that happen?). That's 15 out of 60. Ouch. I need to get my ass in gear. I'm taking Sociology101 and English102. These classes will give me a total of 6 more credits, just over 1/3 of the way there. Yurgh. Long haul. At this turtles pace it will take me two years to get my AA. I simply can't wait that long. Something has to change.
Car will be paid off at the beginning of next year. Will have more dough to pay for classes/books. No more time than I have now, but more money, so it's something. Ah, the life of a full time student would be nice. Maybe a little part time job on the side.
I have never been able to even DREAM of such a thing. Even when I was in high school I was working two part time jobs simultaneously AND paying rent for living in my dad's house (once I turned 18). Ain't that some shit? Of course I figured if I was paying rent there and still living by his rules, I might as well just move out and pay rent somewhere else. And so I've been in this rut for...ugh...forever? There will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Some damned place. But to be honest, it's pretty hard to see right now.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Forgot My Cape In My Other Jeans

Richard and I are standing in the driveway attempting to re-attach his tailgate when a slender silver station wagon pulls up on the other side of the street and a frantic Chinese delivery driver from Ming's gets out and starts waving a receipt around. In broken English he gets the point across that he's lost and can't find the house he's looking for. Richard, the ever-helpful guy that he is, calls the customer's house on his cell and asks him to verify the address. It was one digit off; I Google map it and discover it's straight up the street, within plain view of our own house. With lots of pointing and smiling we tell the driver to head straight up the street, make sure you don't turn on the curve, the house should be right there. About five minutes later, Rich calls the customer's house once again in hopes of getting a successful report of delivery and, hopefully, a solid review on a good Chinese food place in the neighborhood.
Lo and behold, the poor fellow simply couldn't understand what we were saying and likely did turn on the curve.
From the moment the Chinaman steps out and begins his broken attempts at communication, my eyes half-glaze over; I am fantasizing about knowing Chinese and directing him steadfast to his desired destination. In my fantasy, he is very impressed and we chat for awhile about my miraculous abilities. I wave him goodbye and the food is delivered, fresh and hot, to waiting hungry customer.
I often have these moments where I wish I had some insane out-of-thin-air skill just at the right time. Often times I will glaze over in situations such as this and just fantasize about how awesome it would be to have a super ability in a time of need or great desire. (Singing, instrument playing, language, dance, art, etc.)
If I were a super hero and I got to choose my skill, this would TOTALLY be it! I don't care about invisibility, flight, gills or any of that crap! Just hit me with some spur of the moment abilities when the time is right. If you could put in a good word for me at the Super Hero Academy, that'd be great. Thankssomuch.

For A Good Time Call Helen Keller

Have you heard that new song by 3oh!3 called "Don't Trust Me"? It has a line in it about Helen Keller that goes "Shush girl, shut your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips" Usually I'm not such a tight ass about being politically correct, but "Damn!" I thought, "leave Helen Keller alone. The poor woman went through enough in her life that she shouldn't be subjected to some lame superficial pop song and be cashed in on like a set of spinning rims or a grill." Then something happened.
In the midst of all my judgmental smiting, a lonely thought danced across my mind and I was, quite abruptly, flung from my dignified humanitarian pedestal. I fervently texted Richard with said lonely-dancing-thought "Do you think Helen Keller ever got any tail? 'Cause if she did I bet it was awesome! With no sight or sound the sense of touch must be incredibly heightened!"
And then Satan opened the gates of Hell, poked his pointy horns out for a moment and gave me a thumbs up.