Saturday, March 5, 2011

Hair Spiders

I never realized how personal the subject of grooming can be until I sat down for this post. Richard and I have two different bathrooms in our house, and since we're the only occupants I have claimed the hall bathroom as my own. His bathroom is pretty much uncharted territory for me. However, a few months back, there was a problem with the water pressure in my shower, so I used his. My shower has a little removable drain for trapping wayward hair that I clean out after every shower. Since Richard's shower didn't have one, and I didn't think to extract mine before I used his shower, I became a watery hair trapper of the first order. I would not let his drain be troubled with hair! It was my duty as a guest showerer! So throughout the process of hair washing I would do a little trick I like to call "the palm roll" where I'd take hair in my palm and roll it around until it became a tight little hair ball. During said shower, I generated two small hair balls that I sat to the side, beside the bathtub plug, to pick up once the shower was over. Only I didn't pick them up. I completely forgot about them and went on my merry way.


On Monday evening I came home to a very frazzled Richard. He was giving me a list of complaints about his face, shoulder, arm and knee being in pain.
"What happened?" I inquired.
"Well, I was taking a shower and went to move the bathtub plug and I saw these two spiders underneath of it. One of them jumped toward me when I picked up the drain, so I tried to get to the other end of the shower to get away. Except I couldn't because one of them was still attached to the drain plug that was in my hand, so I dropped it and tried to get out of the shower and I slipped and fell and hurt myself." He paused for a moment to give me a hard stare. "You know what I realized then?"
Now, the moment he mentioned the bathtub plug, I began trying to wrestle with concealing my laughter and simultaneous concern as the cold hand of guilt slithered up my spine.
"What did you realize?" I said, hardly able to hold down a booming laugh.
"I realized they weren't spiders at all. They were your hair. I WAS TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR HAIR SPIDERS AND I SLIPPED AND FELL IN THE BATHTUB!"
As you may imagine, tears of laughter ensued.


  1. This is a great post to wake up to, gave me a good laugh! You really ought to capture more moments like these in your writing. I found myself concealing my own laughter as you did. I love your writing!

  2. brilliant = made me giggle :D