Saturday, August 6, 2011

Rotten

I try to surround myself with good, quality people. The rare occasional friends or family members that somehow find themselves into my desolate social circle are the cream of the crop. People that I feel I can completely trust and have a great deal of respect for. I'm exceptionally fortunate to have found people that qualify for this position because I am a terrible maintainer of friendships. I spend most of my time with family. Family doesn't require anything more than the occasional holiday visit, which is easily accomplished when there is a delicious Christmas ham, candied yams, holiday fruit salad, and other such special once-per-year items awaiting my arrival. Family is easy. Well, certain parts of family is easy, at least. Some are high quality cream of the crop types, and others...well, not so much.
I was brought up with a hyper sensitive radar in respect to quality of persons. I think it was a survival skill. I've often pondered people in the figurative form, but never really put words to an idea that has been brewing since I was very young. I realized that when it comes to people, I tend to subtract the rotten parts. Since I was raised surrounded by what I can only describe as 'criminals' I realized that there are certain parts of each person that have to be overlooked or subtracted or at least considered when determining in which capacity they can be trusted, because there are people who can be considered trustworthy in some aspects and completely shady in others. Some people I can trust with my life, but not with my money. Some people ALWAYS have selfish motives, so it's alright to be wary around them, even though I might still come out on top. I just have to be aware that they will come out with more and I have to be fine with that. Some people tell you what their rotten parts are, and that makes things much easier. Some you have to learn the hard way and get burned. I think I'm very easy to get along with because I'm constantly considering what parts need to be subtracted from a person and in which situations it is appropriate and wise to do so. I try to consider the whole picture and adjust my thought processes around it. I was brought up to believe that EVERYONE has skeletons in their closet. Some bigger than others. I guess I don't really believe that anymore, but maybe it's good to go into a new relationship of any kind with that idea in mind. Then again, maybe it's paranoid.
I have learned, without realizing it, to follow my intuition. There are some people that are simply unavoidable. People in the family that are part of the package deal, and friends who are shady but are part of a larger friend circle that makes it worth it to stick around. Intuition once seemed to me very abstract and possibly hokey, like witchcraft or God or karma. But when you think about it, people believe strongly in all of those things. So I guess I can consider myself a believer in the abstract. This is a nice idea. I think everyone needs something to believe in, physical or otherworldly. It makes us feel more connected.

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